Writing Period 4 Winner: UGH

UGH
Written by Bewis
Judged by Mr. Wonderful

“Ugh.” That was all the man managed to choke out of his mouth in a mixture of surprise and pain as the club struck him with a thud on the back of his head. She-la chuckled satisfactorily, content that, for once, she had managed to secure one of the less puny men for herself before the more powerful women-warriors had selected all of the best mates in preparation for the orgiastic, 3-day finale to the harvest festival.

She-la grunted, dragging the man away from the village, as she thought back to the moment she had selected a lover. The tribe had been celebrating their annual harvest, with the men bringing bushel after bushel of crops before the high priestess, locked securely to her throne thanks to the throbbing member of the man-slave she had chosen as her seat. As she nodded approvingly at each bushel brought forth by the subservient men, a whoop arose from the edge of the village as the women of the tribe, great warrior-hunters, returned from a recent battle.

Upon noticing the women’s arrival the men’s faces took on a look that was a mix of arousal and apprehension. Usually several of the men chosen as mates for the orgy died, be it either from sexual exhaustion or, worse, at the hands of an unfulfilled woman. She-la felt her heart pound. Despite being 6’4” and 190lbs of muscle, she was still weaker than the alpha-females of the tribe, and could usually only find a spineless, cowering thing that passed out after only a few hours of animalistic fucking. This year she would prove herself.

She-la had no problems picking a mate of her choosing. The problem, however, was preventing one of the stronger women from stealing her prize, a problem for which she had devised a solution: she would drag her unconscious plaything to the Forbidden Mountains. The Forbidden Mountains had an evil reputation, partly due to their unnatural appearance, however, even more frightening was the mythos passed down through the generations, that the Forbidden Mountains were once the abode of the Old Ones, an ancient, powerful group of beings who had ultimately destroyed themselves. Few of those who ventured into the Forbidden Mountains ever returned, and those that did spoke of bizarre tools that the Old Ones had left behind.

Walking through a silent valley deep in the mountains, She-la selected a suitable cave and dragged her man inside. She grumbled as she slapped her mate awake. The man, unsure of his whereabouts, began whimpering pathetically as She-la slipped off his loincloth, revealing a gigantic cock nearly as long and wide as her considerable forearm. She-la hooted happily as she slowly lowered herself on him.

16 hours later, She-la climaxed for a third time, letting out a harrowing and powerful scream. As she felt the man softening under her she immediately growled with displeasure and slapped him across the face, only to notice that he was either in a coma or already dead. She-la grumbled with annoyance, and began to despair until she noticed, just outside of the circle of light her torch provided, a strangely shaped object. She-la’s stomach knotted. The phallic shape was undeniable, and even with her primitive intelligence, she immediately and intuitively knew what the tool was for. However, as she was about to plunge the dildo deep into her snatch, she noticed a strange symbol, a black, blocky trefoil on a yellow background. She also noticed unusual warmth emanating from the device, and a strange whirring as the dildo sensed her hand and began to power itself on. The creeping realization that she was dealing with a power far beyond her understanding, a power once used by the Old Ones, abruptly excited her with a rush that she had never felt before, and thrust the now humming dildo deep into her cunt. The advanced electronics in the dildo, upon realizing its location, started its fucking program. However, after untold millennia of decay and rust, something had broken in the dildo, some all-important governor was no longer online, and the device began to go critical. She-la knew something was wrong, as the dildo began to heat up to an unbearable degree, the automatic in-out fucking quickened in pace until the movement was only a blur. As the dildo began to glow, She-la let out one more primordial cry of pleasure as the nuclear explosion vaporized her, her lover, the former Museum of Sex, and most of the ruins of Manhattan. “UGGGGGGHHH!”