Writing Period 5 Rubric

Count Duckula is the judge for the 5th Writing Period. His rubric is as follows:

Setting
Choose one of the following as the primary setting of your story:
A cemetery
A slaughterhouse
A sinking naval craft
A school (K-12)
A carnival or amusement park

Plot Items
Include at least one of the following items as a nontrivial element of your story:
A roller coaster
A beard of bees
A penguin
Railroad spike(s)
The Necronomicon
A grand piano
A mechanical bull
A Segway
Sandpaper
A rusted lock
Objects made entirely of ice that shouldn't be (e.g. a hammer, a bed). Ice sculptures and ice
cubes do not count; the object should retain (or intend to retain) its original functional
purpose.
An incorrect interpretation of this requirement:
"John passed a roller coaster on the way to the cemetery."
A correct interpretation:
"John rode the roller coaster into Mark's rectum."

Including more than one of these items in your story in a meaningful way will be looked on favorably.

Plot Parameters
Choose at least two of the following four options to guide your writing:
Give the protagonist of your story an addiction (e.g. murder, drugs, weightlifting). Creative and/or ridiculous addictions will be looked on favorably. Due to the nature of these stories, if you choose a sexual
addiction it must be more specific than the general act of sex to satisfy this requirement (i.e. an unusual sexual fetish).
Have at least one person die in your story.
Involve two of the locations from the "Setting" category in your story.
Give an important character in your story a debilitating ailment, such as blindness or paralysis.

Submissions will be due promptly on Monday, April 5, by 9 pm PST. Late submissions will be judged if I am informed before April 5 that your work will be late for a legitimate reason.

-Count Duckula

Writing Period 4 Winner: UGH

UGH
Written by Bewis
Judged by Mr. Wonderful

“Ugh.” That was all the man managed to choke out of his mouth in a mixture of surprise and pain as the club struck him with a thud on the back of his head. She-la chuckled satisfactorily, content that, for once, she had managed to secure one of the less puny men for herself before the more powerful women-warriors had selected all of the best mates in preparation for the orgiastic, 3-day finale to the harvest festival.

She-la grunted, dragging the man away from the village, as she thought back to the moment she had selected a lover. The tribe had been celebrating their annual harvest, with the men bringing bushel after bushel of crops before the high priestess, locked securely to her throne thanks to the throbbing member of the man-slave she had chosen as her seat. As she nodded approvingly at each bushel brought forth by the subservient men, a whoop arose from the edge of the village as the women of the tribe, great warrior-hunters, returned from a recent battle.

Upon noticing the women’s arrival the men’s faces took on a look that was a mix of arousal and apprehension. Usually several of the men chosen as mates for the orgy died, be it either from sexual exhaustion or, worse, at the hands of an unfulfilled woman. She-la felt her heart pound. Despite being 6’4” and 190lbs of muscle, she was still weaker than the alpha-females of the tribe, and could usually only find a spineless, cowering thing that passed out after only a few hours of animalistic fucking. This year she would prove herself.

She-la had no problems picking a mate of her choosing. The problem, however, was preventing one of the stronger women from stealing her prize, a problem for which she had devised a solution: she would drag her unconscious plaything to the Forbidden Mountains. The Forbidden Mountains had an evil reputation, partly due to their unnatural appearance, however, even more frightening was the mythos passed down through the generations, that the Forbidden Mountains were once the abode of the Old Ones, an ancient, powerful group of beings who had ultimately destroyed themselves. Few of those who ventured into the Forbidden Mountains ever returned, and those that did spoke of bizarre tools that the Old Ones had left behind.

Walking through a silent valley deep in the mountains, She-la selected a suitable cave and dragged her man inside. She grumbled as she slapped her mate awake. The man, unsure of his whereabouts, began whimpering pathetically as She-la slipped off his loincloth, revealing a gigantic cock nearly as long and wide as her considerable forearm. She-la hooted happily as she slowly lowered herself on him.

16 hours later, She-la climaxed for a third time, letting out a harrowing and powerful scream. As she felt the man softening under her she immediately growled with displeasure and slapped him across the face, only to notice that he was either in a coma or already dead. She-la grumbled with annoyance, and began to despair until she noticed, just outside of the circle of light her torch provided, a strangely shaped object. She-la’s stomach knotted. The phallic shape was undeniable, and even with her primitive intelligence, she immediately and intuitively knew what the tool was for. However, as she was about to plunge the dildo deep into her snatch, she noticed a strange symbol, a black, blocky trefoil on a yellow background. She also noticed unusual warmth emanating from the device, and a strange whirring as the dildo sensed her hand and began to power itself on. The creeping realization that she was dealing with a power far beyond her understanding, a power once used by the Old Ones, abruptly excited her with a rush that she had never felt before, and thrust the now humming dildo deep into her cunt. The advanced electronics in the dildo, upon realizing its location, started its fucking program. However, after untold millennia of decay and rust, something had broken in the dildo, some all-important governor was no longer online, and the device began to go critical. She-la knew something was wrong, as the dildo began to heat up to an unbearable degree, the automatic in-out fucking quickened in pace until the movement was only a blur. As the dildo began to glow, She-la let out one more primordial cry of pleasure as the nuclear explosion vaporized her, her lover, the former Museum of Sex, and most of the ruins of Manhattan. “UGGGGGGHHH!”

Writing Period 4 Results

To the Gentlemen of the Erotic Word,

Well done to everyone who submitted a story this period! I enjoyed reading all seven of the fabulous stories that were written. I was also very pleased that so many of you decided to tackle the Challenge. The stories are getting better with each writing period.

To the two crusty vaginas who didn't write a story this writing period, I expected more from you...I hope you feel guilty.

Now onto the results. I have no idea who wrote each story so I'm just going to list the titles. I leave it up to the Commish to match the stories with their authors.



THIRD PLACE is awarded to "Penishead". I never thought that I could be sympathetic to a rapist and murderer after watching Charlize Theron in "Monster", but this story pulls it off. Owen is clearly the product of a harsh landscape, a motherless childhood, and a hateful father. Perhaps in another time, he would have been a veterinarian but this clearly was not in the cards. I also realy like that the predator, Owen, became the hopeful prey of Tasha, and that their true love emerged from their predatory nature. The Bonnie and Clyde of the future. Nice work.



SECOND PLACE is awarded to Armageddon II: The Cummageddon. I really enjoyed the slow, thoughtful pace of this story. It asked the question: What would happen to the world in the case of an impending Armageddon? While Bruce Willis is up on that asteroid trying to save all of mankind, what do the other 4 billion people do to bide their time? Some must get their freak on. It's not clear whether the protagonist was a prostitute before the news of the coming apocalypse or whether she became promiscuous after the fact, because hey what the fuck, why stand by manners when we're all going to die right? And it did seem to make her forget, even for a moment, her imending death. I'm glad the author left this ambiguous and up to the reader's imagination.

I thought the last lines were especially powerful:
"It felt like a giant oak was growing in me and forcing me into two pieces. I thought the rock would never make it to me, that I’d already be lying on the ground, my left side next to my right side, waiting for the rock to burn up all the other trees and pebbles. When I felt him shudder, I just kept my face flat on the car hood and we stood there frozen, my chest against cool hard metal, his dick welded to my ass, deep inside.


And finally...

FIRST PLACE is awarded to UGH!! This was a fantastic story from beginning to end. It was a great homage to the classic Planet of the Apes, in the sense that this seems like the past but it's really the future and in a place you're very familiar with but never imagined. Great rendering of the Challenge to provide multiple perspectives. Also I really appreciated the back story surrounding the Forbidden Mountains. The author really took the time to creat a mythology for these futuristic amazonian women and it paid off with a richer and more believable narrative. Not to mention the Amazon woman orgasming as the nuclear bomb erupted. Does this symbolize how the selfish nature of woman leads to pain and destruction or is it just a great way to end the story? Does the author want us to believe that selfishness destroyed the city the first time, and that the cycle of destruction will never end? Maybe. Maybe not. Something to think about, and because the author made us do that (as well as want to cum all inside She-la) FIRST PLACE.

-Mr. Wonderful